The Success Addiction: When Achievements Define Your Worth | Episode 28

If your confidence depends on your most recent achievement, or your sense of worth hinges on being impressive, you’re not alone. I’ve heard this belief from so many leaders, entrepreneurs, and high-achievers I’ve worked with—and I’ve lived it myself.

Many of us grow up believing that success will finally give us the things we crave most: confidence, love, admiration, fulfillment. So we push ourselves. We collect accomplishments. We set bigger goals. And when we hit one, the joy is fleeting—so we chase the next.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to achieve. The problem comes when our identity and happiness depend on it. That’s when success turns into a performance trap—driving us to exhaustion, disconnection, and never feeling good enough.

We think, “Once I reach this goal, I’ll finally feel confident. Finally feel worthy. Finally be happy.”

But the reality? No matter how many goals we hit, it never feels like enough. That high from success wears off quickly. We find ourselves anxious about maintaining it. What if we can’t stay at the top? What if someone else wins? Suddenly, life becomes a constant comparison game, where our value hinges on being “better than” someone else.

This pattern doesn’t just drain us—it delivers the exact opposite of what it promises. Instead of happiness and fulfillment, we feel more anxious, empty, and disconnected than ever.

This was my story, too.

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. I noticed that when I achieved something—especially in school—he seemed happy with me. So I learned that performance = love. I became a consistent honor student. And eventually, a high achiever at work and in my business.

From the outside, I looked successful. But inside? I still felt unworthy unless I had something new to prove. Every achievement brought a burst of pride—and then, almost immediately, the emptiness returned. I’d tell myself, “The next one will make me feel enough.” But it never did.

The belief ran deep: “If I achieve what I want, then I’ll finally be worthy and happy.”

But achievement after achievement didn’t deliver on that promise.

My healing began the moment I realized: I don’t have to believe every thought I think.

I started noticing the pattern of my inner voice—the belief that happiness and worth were things I had to earn. And I began to question it.

The biggest teacher in this shift? My daughter Sophie, who was born with Down's Syndrome.

She’s joyful and deeply loved, just as she is. No accomplishments needed. Through her, I learned how to love unconditionally—and how to extend that same love to myself.

That was the breakthrough: realizing I didn’t have to achieve my worth. I could simply remember it.

Since shifting that belief, here’s what changed in my life:

And no—this doesn’t mean I’ve stopped growing or striving. I still have goals. I still value excellence. But they no longer define my worth.

Because I’ve stopped outsourcing my value to my achievements, I’m no longer shaken when I fall short. I take inspired action—not out of pressure, but out of purpose.

One question I hear a lot from my clients is:

“But if I stop pushing myself, how will I succeed?”

It’s a valid fear—especially when the pressure to perform has powered you for years.

I used to believe the same. That fear of not being “enough” fueled my ambition. And yes, it helped me succeed—but I wasn’t truly happy.

Now, I’m both fulfilled and productive. I work from inspiration, not fear. That shift has created more impact—not less.

I once asked one of my coachees, “Now that you’re already happy and at peace, do you think that would stop you from growing your business?”

She explained that it wouldn’t—quite the opposite, actually. Before, when she was unhappy and stressed, she didn’t have the mental and emotional energy to take action, especially when facing setbacks. But now that she feels grounded and at peace, she feels inspired and unstoppable. She shared that she’s more productive because of the positive emotions she experiences daily, and that this energy spills over into her family and work life. Things feel much lighter and easier.

I asked another person a similar question: “If you could only choose one thing for your children—happiness or success—what would it be?”

He said he would choose happiness. For him, success is meaningless without it. And when someone is genuinely happy, success becomes so much easier to achieve.

When you stop tying your worth to your achievements, you unlock a new kind of freedom:

Let me assure you—when you allow yourself to be happy and at peace, you won’t lose your ambition. What you’ll gain is alignment. Drive that comes from love, not fear.

You perform best when you’re whole.

Your worth isn’t something to earn—it’s something you were born with. It’s there on your best days and your worst. It doesn’t disappear when you fall short. And no amount of success will ever make it more real.

What would your life look like if you let go of the pressure to constantly prove yourself?

What if you could enjoy the process of growth—not because you’re trying to feel “enough,” but because it lights you up?

What if you could show up fully present, feel deeply connected, and trust that who you are is already worthy?

That’s what becomes possible when we build from the inside out.

Take some time to journal:

You don’t have to wait for the next achievement to feel whole. That freedom is already available to you—starting now.

If you’re tired of the endless chase for success and want to feel both fulfilled and impactful, I’d love to help.

Book your FREE Coaching Consultation!

Together, we’ll uncover the thought patterns that are quietly draining your energy—and create new ones that support sustainable growth, genuine joy, and lasting confidence.

You’re already enough.

Let’s build your next chapter from that truth.

00:00 – Introduction

02:04 – The Problem: When Achievements Define Your Worth

04:37 – The Turning Point

07:10 – Insights from Real Life

08:40 – Here's the Truth

10:28 – What's Possible for You

11:23 – Quick Action Steps You Should Try

12:23 – Your Journey to Growth Starts Here