Taking Feedback Like a Pro: How to Use Criticism for Growth | Episode 18

Have you ever received feedback that stung more than expected? Maybe it felt unfair, made you question yourself, or lingered in your thoughts longer than it should have. Feedback, even when well-meaning, can feel incredibly personal. It can shake your confidence and leave you wondering if you're really cut out for what you're doing.

But what if feedback—especially the kind that challenges you—is actually your fastest path to growth?

Many of us struggle with feedback because we tend to interpret it as a reflection of who we are, rather than what we’ve done. Instead of seeing it as a tool for growth, we internalize it. We become defensive, react emotionally, or shut down entirely. Rather than learning from it, we overthink and spiral into self-doubt.

And often, this reaction doesn’t come from the feedback itself—but from the stories we’ve told ourselves or the limiting beliefs we’ve carried for years. These beliefs are often reinforced by our inner Saboteurs—the parts of us that tell us we’re not good enough or that being criticized means we’ve failed.

We unknowingly absorb beliefs that shape how we experience feedback:

These thoughts often become habits. And when repeated, those habits begin to form a kind of identity—one where we become fearful of change, stuck in our comfort zones, and resistant to hearing anything that might challenge our sense of self.

When we internalize feedback and treat it as a personal attack, we may unknowingly step into the role of the Fragile Defender. This is the part of us that feels threatened even when others are trying to help. We might become easily offended, avoid honest conversations, or resist making changes that could actually benefit us in the long run.

I know that role well—because I’ve played it. In my 20s, I once asked my mum who her most difficult child was. I was hoping for reassurance, fully expecting her to say my youngest sister—the same sister I now admire deeply and share a close bond with.

But to my surprise, she said it was me. Why? Because I was so sensitive. I took things too personally, got defensive and impatient, and often snapped back with hurtful words.

It stung to hear—and the truth is, it took me years to really understand and grow from that.

But I did. And I’m genuinely grateful for it.

When we let feedback hurt us instead of help us, we pay the price in multiple areas of our lives. Our growth slows down because we miss out on valuable insights that could improve our work. By avoiding feedback, we also avoid the honest conversations that strengthen our relationships, which leads to missed opportunities for connection and collaboration.

As a result, we often repeat the same mistakes because we haven't taken the time to learn from them. Ultimately, our performance plateaus, and we stop innovating, stuck in a cycle that prevents us from reaching our full potential. But here’s the good news: this cycle can be broken.

People who grow the fastest, lead with clarity, and influence others positively see feedback through a different lens. They welcome feedback—even the tough kind—because they know it’s a tool for progress. They don’t take it personally. Instead, they stay calm, curious, and open-minded. They don’t look for perfection; they look for patterns. They thank the person giving the feedback and apply what’s useful.

This is how they step into a new identity: the Resilient Learner.

The Resilient Learner doesn’t flinch at feedback. They listen without reacting emotionally. They ask thoughtful questions to clarify what’s being said. They pause before they respond. Most importantly, they use feedback to improve—faster, smarter, and with more confidence.

This mindset not only enhances performance but builds trust, deepens relationships, and sets the stage for long-term success.

When you choose to shift your perspective and embrace feedback, you open the door to:

All of this begins with one mindset shift: seeing feedback as a gift.

I gave a talk a few months ago to a team. Six people gave positive feedback — they said it was great, they learned a lot, and they really enjoyed it. One person, however, had a strong negative reaction and said, “It was so bad, it’s BS.”

That one comment could have crushed me. In the past, it probably would have. But this time, I reminded myself of something important: we can’t please everyone—and we don’t need to.

The Sage within us—that calm, wise voice we can access when we’re grounded—knows this truth. It reminds us that we are not defined by other people’s opinions, or even by our mistakes and failures. We can handle what’s said about us, take what’s useful, and leave the rest.

We can learn. We can set boundaries. We can grow stronger, wiser, and more rooted in who we truly are.

The next time you receive feedback, pause before reacting. Breathe. Then ask yourself: “What is the gift or opportunity in this?”

If you’re ready to take this further, I invite you to explore the root of your resistance to feedback. You may be carrying inner Saboteurs—mental habits that quietly undermine your performance, relationships, and well-being.

Book your free Saboteur Discovery Session today and let’s identify the patterns that make feedback feel threatening. Together, we’ll shift how you respond to feedback—so it supports your growth, strengthens your connections, and aligns with the kind of leader or person you want to be.

Growth is possible. It begins with a small shift in how you choose to see feedback.

00:00 - Introduction

01:14 - Why We Struggle With Feedback

04:04 - The Lies We Believe About Criticism

07:39 - When You Let Feedback Hurt You

12:45 - The Real Cost of Reacting Poorly

13:22 - What Successful People Do Instead

14:31 - What You Gain When You Embrace Feedback

19:56 - Try This Next Time

20:25 - Your Journey to Growth Starts Here