Values First: Make Decisions That Feel Right (Not Just Look Right) | Episode 21

You’re faced with a decision—should you take on that new opportunity or stick to what you already have on your plate? You weigh the pros and cons, but something still doesn’t feel right. You end up saying “yes” anyway, hoping it’ll work out, only to feel drained or uncertain afterward. If making decisions like this leaves you questioning whether they truly align with who you are, keep reading. 

Today, I’ll share how understanding your values can simplify decision-making and make it feel more aligned with your true self.

Let me take you back to a time when decision-making felt like a constant struggle. I was torn between business decisions, personal relationships, and a never-ending list of commitments.

I kept saying yes to everyone. It felt like I couldn’t say no. I was overwhelmed, burnt out, and stuck in a cycle of FOMO (fear of missing out).

I also kept old friendships that no longer felt aligned with who I was becoming. I didn't know how to choose, how to prioritize, or how to set boundaries. Everything seemed important, and I was constantly reacting to the needs of others, leaving myself behind.

Then, everything shifted when I clarified my values. Once I knew what truly mattered to me, decision-making became easier. I started saying yes to activities and opportunities that aligned with who I am and what mattered to me. Setting boundaries became easier. I became more intentional with my time, energy, and relationships.

Making decisions without a solid inner system leads to confusion, burnout, and resentment. Many times, we make choices based on emotions, urgency, or external pressure instead of alignment with our values.

Common Saboteur Thoughts:

These thoughts often drive us to say yes when we should say no. We overcommit, ignore misalignment, and delay the progress we could be making.

When you ignore your values, the consequences can be severe. You might experience burnout, frustration, and resentment as you try to juggle too many commitments that don't align with what truly matters to you. This can lead to stagnation in both your personal and business goals, as you're putting energy into things that drain you instead of propelling you forward. 

Additionally, you may feel a loss of connection to your true self, as you're constantly responding to external demands rather than living in alignment with your true self. It’s like following random traffic lights with no map—you’re moving, but not arriving at your destination. You’re lost, overwhelmed, and disconnected from your true purpose.

Once you clarify your values, you’ll have a decision-making roadmap. So, how do you start?

Option 1: The Basic Approach

This is the easiest way to start identifying your values. However, one downside is that it can be tempting to choose values based on what “looks good” rather than what truly matters to you. Be mindful of this, and take the time to reflect on what’s really important to you.

Start by listing your top 5–8 values. For example, you might refer to lists of values from James Clear or Google for inspiration.

You can create one general list of values that covers all areas of your life (this is how I started). Alternatively, you might prefer to create separate lists for each of the following areas:

Sometimes, it’s helpful to identify your specific values for different areas of life. I’ve done this, too. It makes it easier to pinpoint why, for example, a friendship might feel off. You might discover that one of your core values, like trust or loyalty, has been violated. Or maybe your “family” values emphasize time together, and a recent lack of effort in maintaining connections leaves you feeling disconnected. By checking these values regularly, you gain insight into what’s truly important and can make decisions that align better with your true self.

Option 2: Dive Deeper

This option is more expansive and can help you uncover values that may not appear in standard lists. To get started, write down your answers to the questions below—aim for at least 30 responses in total. Ready? Grab your pen and paper now.

Once you’ve written your answers, put them in order of importance (with #1 being the most important), and then identify your top 8 values.

Values are your decision guide. When you know what matters most, decisions become clear.

The empowering belief here is: “My values guide me to choices that truly honor what matters to me—not just what’s easy or impressive to others.” Living by this mindset helps you make decisions with greater confidence and clarity. In practice, it means saying yes to things that align with your values—and saying no to those that don’t.

The benefits of living this way are clear: you’ll experience a clearer mind, more energy, and make decisions based on alignment and peace. This approach fosters confidence and ease in decision-making, accelerates your progress, and saves time. Think of it like setting a GPS—once you know your destination (your values), every turn you need to take becomes obvious.

While knowing your values is powerful, it’s essential to be mindful. Sometimes, values can trigger inner conflict. For example:

It’s crucial to understand your values in depth and know where they may cause conflict. For instance, being a giver could lead to burnout if you don’t define boundaries. Honor your values, but also recognize when they might start to take over your identity and authenticity.

Here are a few quick action steps to help you start aligning your decisions with your values:

By taking these simple steps, you'll start making decisions with more clarity and confidence, and you'll be more in tune with what truly matters to you.

Do you want to understand your real values—not just the ones that look good on paper?
Or maybe you’re clear on your values, but you’re still unsure why you’re not honoring them. If making decisions or setting boundaries still feels hard, let’s talk.

Book a free coaching consultation today, and let’s discover what’s been stopping you from aligning with your true values. Together, we’ll clarify what matters to you and help you make decisions that move you forward, without the guilt and confusion.

00:00 – Introduction

01:25 – Before I Knew My Values

03:32 – How Life Changed When My Values Became Clear

06:33 – The Solution: Option 1

10:20 – The Solution: Option 2

15:07 – A Word of Caution

20:11 – How to Use Your Core Values as a Guide

21:37 – The Benefits of Living by Your Values

22:55 – Clear Action Steps to Get Started

23:43 – Your Journey to Growth Starts Here